Love & Marriage
by Eilam Wordsmith
Summary: One day, the Reapers will be gone.  One day, Shepard and Kaidan will have to face the challenges of an ordinary life.  And on that day...they'd rather fight Reapers.  A multi-chaptered epilogue for Shenko.
1. White

_Welcome. This fic is basically Kaidan and Shepard's epilogue, a series of snapshots about their lives in the future. I will be updating every Friday if I can. Please enjoy._

* * *

_A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. _

_-Mignon McLaughlin_

Kaidan ran his hand along Shepard's arm, trying to make out her expression in the dark room. "What are you thinking about?"

She kept her back to him. "Nothing."

"You can't lie to me, Shepard."

"Watch me."

"Look," Kaidan leaned over her, pressing his lips against her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know I could have done better, but I got nervous. Everything just...spurted out."

Shepard turned her head toward him. "I know. But it's just so embarrassing. To have everyone know that-"

"It happens to just about everyone," Kaidan said. To Shepard's ears, he sounded a little defensive. "Really, it's a very normal thing. Did you think it would never happen?"

Now Shepard rolled completely over so that they were chest to chest. "When I was a little girl, I dreamed of a lot of things for my future. Not this. I thought it was icky."

"Icky?" Kaidan grinned.

"Very." She paused for a moment. "Why does it have to be white?"

"What?"

"You know. There's just white stuff everywhere." She waved her hands around for emphasis. "So why white?"

"It just is, Shepard."

"Okay, then. Just how much is it going to cost to fix this up?"

Kaidan ran a hand over his face. Why had he started this conversation again? "Shepard, you've caught me a little unprepared here."

"Ballpark me a figure. That's an order."

There was only a sigh in response. Shepard poked a finger into Kaidan's abdominals. "Guesstimate. Come on."

"...thousands."

"Are you kidding?"

"You asked."

"Only because you...can't we go and do it somewhere cheap?"

"No, Shepard. There would be several people who would be very unhappy about that. And a number of them are Alliance officials. I wouldn't be very happy about it, either."

Shepard propped herself up on one elbow. "And that's another thing. Why did you have to do it in front of my mother of all people? Did you _see_ her reaction? She goes nuts over stuff like this!"

"Well, that's not surprising-"

"She's going to want to help, now. Plan out every last detail. You watch, next thing you know she'll be measuring your fluid intake."

Kaidan groaned. "She can't be as bad as my mother."

"How'd she take the news?"

"As expected." Kaidan pitched his voice higher in a rough imitation of a female voice. "'You did _what_? Oh, I never thought it would happen, dear.'"

The two of them fell quiet. Shepard entwined her legs with Kaidan's, never wanting to let go in any way. He pulled her closer. They were skin to skin, breathing in unison, smelling their mingled scents in a room that was theirs.

"Still," Shepard sighed. "I guess it's all going to be worth it, in the end."

"I like to think so," Kaidan replied. "I wouldn't have asked you, otherwise." He kissed the top of her head. "What are you thinking about now?"

"Nothing, just..." She grinned. "I still can't believe you asked me to marry you in front of _everyone_. Just like that."

"I still can't believe you said yes," Kaidan replied.

Shepard smiled and kissed him back. "So far, it's the best decision I ever made." She snuggled against his chest, settling in for sleep.

"Oh, and the sex just now was _fantastic_."


	2. Anniversary

Kaidan was very nervous. He hadn't thought it was possible to literally sweat bullets, yet the drops rolling down the side of his head felt particularly large and leaden. And he hands were sweaty, too. While he wiped them off on his pants for the third time, he gave the room a final glance.

It had taken a whole braid of strings to pull, but he had managed to rent a room for the night and put together an intimate dinner for him and Shepard. That had been the easy part. The real surprise was that he had gotten it redecorated to look like the captain's quarters from the _Normandy_ SR-1, down to the last detail. Even the lighting was perfect, a dim blue that colored his memories of their first night together.

Joker had shaken his head. "You're overdoing it," he'd said. "How are you going to top this every year? You can't. Set the bar low, work up to the mind-blowing stuff."

But Kaidan just couldn't do that. Not for their first anniversary.

_And maybe,_ he thought as he put the champagne in a bucket of ice, _if I can do this right, we can even recreate that night before Ilos..._

He checked his omni-tool. Shepard had had a doctor's appointment earlier, and he'd sent her a message to meet him here. Any minute now she would ring the door chime.

_Ding!_ Speak of the devil. He checked over the room one last time, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. No need to be nervous. They'd been married for a year, after all. She'd seen him puking into a toilet, and he'd seen her use some sort of torture device to curl her eyelashes. So there was no reason for him to have a heart attack over her reaction.

The door slid open, and Shepard walked in wearing that little black dress Kasumi had gotten for her. Kaidan loved that dress, especially when she asked him to unzip it.

His wife (he still couldn't get used to that word, no matter how he loved hearing it) realized the state of the room she'd walked into, and she froze. Her eyes widened, and one hand went to her mouth.

"Happy Anniversary," he said, pulling her close and kissing her cheek. He also tried to ignore the samba his heart was performing and the steady siren of panic in his head. _She doesn't like it She Doesn't Like It SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! MAYDAY! ALL HANDS ABANDON SHI-_

"Kaidan, this is amazing! How did you do it?"

"Oh, I called in a few favors," he said. "No big deal. You like it?"

"I love it!"

Crisis averted.

He led her to the bed, where they both sat down and he poured out the champagne. Shepard stared off into space, twisting the bed covers between her fingers. When Kaidan handed her a champagne glass, she started.

"I..." They both said, then stopped.

"You go first," she said, putting a finger to her lips.

Okay. He could do this. "I just wanted to say...that I love you." Kaidan swallowed. "That night, years ago, I knew that I wanted to spend my life with you. So to be here now after all we've been through together...I don't think I could be happier. Thank you for being my wife."

He tilted his glass toward hers for the toast, but she didn't move. Shepard just sat there, staring down at the bubbling drink, frowning.

_I've screwed it up. Something I said, or did, completely ruined it. Joker was right, this was too big. Too romantic. Shepard likes simple things. What was I thinking?_

"I really, really want to toast to that," Shepard said. She looked up at him, a small smile lighting her face. "But I can't."

_She doesn't love me anymore. She's had an affair. I'll kill him, whoever he is. She hates me. She's divorcing me. SHE'S DIVORCING ME!_

"Kaidan, I'm pregnant."

Everything stopped. Time, his heart, his brain functions, everything. Just those words kept repeating over and over in his head. Shepard was smiling at him.

"Are...are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm due in November."

He took a moment to let those words sink in. Then he got on his knees on the floor in front of Shepard, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head against her belly.

None of his plans for the evening mattered now. Funny how little he cared. Funny how his heart felt like it had been grasped by a small fist. He was going to be a father. A baby...he was going to be a daddy.

"I love you," he whispered, the first time he'd said it to two people at once.

"Happy Anniversary," Shepard said.


	3. Decision

_Every baby needs a name..._

* * *

_The one thing I want to leave my children is an honorable name._  
_-Theodore Roosevelt_

_Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry._  
_-Bill Cosby_

"So," Kaidan said as he capped the marker, "this is it? The final decision? No taking it back, no sneaking a bribe to the nurse-"

"Yes, alright already." Shepard grunted as she struggled into a sitting position. "Let's try to finish this before I have to pee again."

"Right. No cheating this time." Kaidan moved to sit behind her, supporting her against the round mountain of her belly. He traced a finger along her skin there, and the black letters that he'd written rose in goose bumps.

_Atton. Kaidan Jr. John. Asher. Garret. Rex. Carth. David. Alistair. Thane. Jeffrey. Jacob. Zaeed. Steven. _

Each name was written on a different part of her skin where the baby had been known to kick. After months of trying names on for size, narrowing down the list more and more, and arguing back and forth, this was the best solution that they had come up with. Wherever the baby kicked, that would be his name. This was their second attempt, the first one interrupted by a kissing session that smeared the names beyond recognition.

This time they waited, holding each other. At the other end of the living room the vidscreen was muted, images of an old sci-fi show flashing a silent adventure. Kaidan leaned his own head against the back of Shepard's.

"Nothing yet," she murmured. "But he's stretching right now. We should get something soon."

"You have no idea how jealous I am," Kaidan said.

"What?"

"That you can feel him growing inside you. To know that he's right there with you, safe. It must be amazing."

Shepard turned her head just enough so that she could see him out of the corner of her eye. "It is. But it's strange, too. Like I'm not Jane anymore-I'm this vessel. Like the _Normandy_. I keep him safe, but...I don't know how to describe it.

"But I tell you what; I am _not _looking forward to the labor pains. You're getting the better end of the deal, there."

"Ah, the joys of being a man." Kaidan nuzzled her neck.

She stuck out her tongue at him, then gasped. "He's moving...no, never mind. False alarm. I swear, this one's a trouble maker."

"This one?" Shepard strained to look him in the eye as he spoke. "Do you think we should have more?" He couldn't help grinning as he said it. A pack of little Alenkos...

"Let's see how much we like this one first." Shepard drummed her fingers along her belly. "Do you think we can do this?"

"What, raise a baby?"

"Yeah...Kaidan, I've never done this before. I'm really good at killing things, but putting something back into the world is...it's scary. What if I screw him up? What if he hates me?"

"Hey." His arms tightened around her ever so slightly, his lips against her ear. "I've never done this either. But we're a team. We can do anything. So we're going to love him so much that he has no choice but to love us back. Okay?"

She sighed. "You make it sound so easy. But okay. Oh!" Her hand splayed against her stomach and her eyes went wide. "We have a winner! First and middle name."

"So? What is it?" Kaidan felt like a kid on Christmas, ripping into the very first present.

"It was..." Shepard's hands moved over her belly, remembering her son's kicks. "...Asher...Jeffrey. Oh, Joker's going to be impossible when he hears about this."

"Asher Jeffrey Alenko." The name rolled off his tongue. "I think I like it."

"So that's it? The final decision?" Shepard asked. She bit her lip, anxious.

"I think so." Kaidan kissed her cheek.

"Good, because I have to pee again. Help me up, would you?"


	4. Shower

_My recent absence can be blamed on two things. One, NaNoWriMo. Two, this chapter. It was one that refused to be written, but I knew it had to be. Good to be back._

* * *

_Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. _

_-Jim Morrison_

Shepard should have seen this coming. Really, it had been inevitable ever since she'd mailed the announcement.

The Alenkos had taken a picture of Shepard's (fully clothed) butt and had written over it, "If you like these buns, just wait until I finish the one in my oven!" Jack had sent back a reply asking for a picture of Kaidan's butt instead.

So when Tali had showed up at the Alenko apartment wanting to take the very-pregnant-Shepard to lunch, she should have been suspicious. Especially when Kaidan urged her to go, despite her protests. It was just plain _embarrassing_ to walk down the Presidium in a pair of overalls, especially when it looked like she was trying to smuggle a beach ball.

But Tali managed to drag her out and down the street to a restaurant that boasted a "family fun" atmosphere. As they were ushered into a back room, Shepard's spidey senses started to tingle and she tried to back out. But it was too late.

The entire remaining crew of the _Normandy_, SR1 and 2, popped up from their chairs, cheering. A large banner stretched across the ceiling, proclaiming "It's a BOY!" Everything was decorated in shades of blue, and there was a large stack of presents piled in the corner. As Shepard stared at the scene in horror, her husband came up behind her and kissed her cheek.

"Sorry," Kaidan said, "I couldn't stop them. Lawson said if I tried to warn you she'd skin me alive."

Shepard shot a glare at the brunette, who grinned and linked her arm in the commander's. "Welcome to your baby shower!" She said. The woman obviously had no sense of self-preservation.

Miranda, who was obviously in charge of this event, pulled Shepard into the seat of honor. It had no cushion. But then, she really couldn't complain too much; both Wrex and Grunt had been squeezed into the tiny wooden chairs, which creaked ominously. The krogan looked distinctly uncomfortable, though whether it was because of the seating arrangements or the baby-shaped balloons tied next to them was anyone's guess.

Grunt batted away one of the helium-filled infants, practically snarling. "Thought these things were supposed to rain down, not float."

"Uh, that's not it." Gabby piped up from her corner. "You're supposed to rain presents on the mother, not throw babies."

"Hell yeah!" Jack, who had been reclining in her chair with a bored expression on her face, now brightened up and let her biotics run along her arm.

"Anyone throws a present at Shepard, I'll kill him," Wrex grumbled, giving Jack the evil eye.

Their beleaguered commander put her head on her arms, lying on the table. "I can see it now," she said. "'Baby Shower Ends With a Bang! Heroes Set Local Restaurant on Fire!'"

Kaidan patted her shoulder. "Shepard, don't exaggera-Massani! Put that grenade away!"

The mother-to-be groaned. They hadn't even made it to the cake yet.

After several glares and crowd-control tactics from Miranda, the crowd settled down and several presents were passed to the head of the table. Kelly Chambers practically shoved to get hers closest to the Commanders. Shepard took one look at the fuchsia wrapping paper and shuddered.

"You do know we're having a boy, right?" She asked as she picked up the box.

Kelly nodded, grinning. "I just picked my favorite color so you would know it's from me!"

The Yeoman had gotten them a breast pump. And as horrifying as _that_ was, it still didn't hold a candle to their present from Wrex.

"Wow, how...thoughtful." Kaidan said as he picked up what looked like a small mace. "What is this for, again?"

"I'm surprised you don't know," the warlord said. He picked up a sugar cube from the dish on the table, examining the blue color before shrugging and popping it into his mouth. "It's to subdue the newborn when it tries to attack you. They're always given to those attending the birth."

Kaidan blanched. "Krogans attack at birth?" He asked.

"Yep," Shepard said, taking the mace and putting it in a pile with the other gifts. "Very useful. Thanks, Wrex."

Grunt chose that moment to lean forward and shove a small case into Kaidan's hands. "Hope you like asari porn."

Liara and Samara stood up, their bodies lit with the unmistakable crackle of biotics.

In retrospect, it probably hadn't been a good idea to have an open bar. But Shepard was happy to leave early, and if she had to be honest, she was proud that they'd all been in the same room for fifteen minutes. And no matter what the restaurant manager said, the damage was mostly superficial anyway.


	5. Nights

_Just a little something extra to make up for my long absence. Enjoy, you guys._

* * *

_Dear God, let this be just a bad nightmare. _

_-Roy Horn_

Shepard woke up screaming. One Prothean memory too many, or an old battle that had come to revisit her. It didn't matter what the source was; there were plenty of reasons for nightmares.

The bedroom was cold, but Shepard could feel sweat running down her back and through her hair. She sat up, shaking, and tried to listen to the sounds of the night. Her own breathing was too loud. All she could hear past that was the thumping of her own heart.

A warm hand touched her back. Kaidan's hand. For a few minutes he simply rubbed her damp skin, the circular motions attempting to calm and relax her. Shepard lay down against his chest; now she could only hear his heartbeat.

"Was it bad?" He murmured. His voice was a low rumble, the vibrations humming into her ear that was pressed against him.

"Not really."

That was all. Kaidan continued rubbing her back, sometimes humming low in his throat, until Shepard relaxed into sleep again. When he was sure she was all right, his eyes slid closed.

Some nights Shepard would wake with nightmares. Other nights, it was Kaidan. Most of the time, they slept soundly. Only on rare occasions did they wake up together, terrified, and cling to each other for solace. When that happened, the only thing either could say, in a fearful and relieved whisper in the dark, was this:

"I thought I'd lost you."


	6. Labor

_Back on track, and just in time for a little present on the holidays. Seasons' Greetings, everyone!_

* * *

_All beautiful and noble qualities have been united in me... I shall be the fruit which will leave eternal vitality behind even after its decay. How great must be your joy, therefore, to have given birth to me. _  
_-Egon Schiele_

_A man is not complete until he has seen the baby he has made.  
-Sammy Davis, Jr._

Garrus watched Commander Alenko pace back and forth, and wasn't sure if he wanted to strangle him or laugh. Laughter won out eventually.

"Kaidan, calm down. She's going to be fine."

"How am I supposed to know that if she kicked me out of the room?" Kaidan asked. He ran his hand through his hair for the umpteenth time. "She's having a _baby_. Anything could go wrong."

"And yet sentient beings across the galaxy do it every day," Liara replied, though she didn't look up from her datapad. She'd downloaded a novel for the wait and was down to the last chapter. "Why can't you relax, Kaidan?"

He sputtered. With his hair standing on end and eyes red-rimmed from lack of sleep, he looked deranged. Wearing the same shirt and sweatpants he'd had on for the past eighteen hours since they'd rushed to the hospital, he looked certifiably insane.

"My _son_ is being born! I want to be _in there_!" He said.

"Can't imagine why," Joker said. He didn't look up either; he was in the middle of a card game with Jack, Tali, and Jacob, and they liked to cheat if he didn't pay attention.

The commander made an angry, strangled noise. "Joker...I will break you in half."

"No man, think about it. Why would you want to be anywhere near a biotic woman in the middle of labor pains? An L5, no less? It's a death wish."

"Krogan men don't watch the birth, either." Grunt grumbled from several seats away. "The mothers bite."

"At least you don't have to worry about putting the baby in a bubble." Tali said. "Ha, royal flush! I win!"

"Dirty cheat," Jack muttered. Then she shivered. "Couldn't Shepard have picked a hospital that wasn't so damn _cold_?"

Kaidan bit back a reply about stupid skimpy tank tops and wearing jackets like a sensible person and resumed his pacing. Everyone was keeping busy, keeping calm. Garrus was cleaning his sniper rifle again. Even Grunt had pulled out a video game. Given the questionable mental state of the group in the waiting room, it was ironic that he was the only one visibly agitated.

And why not? They'd all brought something to do, expecting to be the ones waiting. But Kaidan didn't have anything, now that he wasn't a labor coach like he'd trained to be.

He slumped into a chair. It didn't matter, really. Even if he hadn't been kicked out, did Shepard need him for this? Miranda, Mordin and Chakwas were her doctors, and even they didn't have enough to do. Unless something went wrong, all they could do was monitor her and the baby. The rest was Shepard's job.

_We're in the best hospital on the Citadel_, he reassured himself. _She's got the best doctors in the galaxy. The pregnancy was textbook, the labor was easy this morning...she's going to be __**fine**_.

"Commander Alenko?" Miranda peeked out from behind the door, her voice muffled by her scrubs mask. "She's asking for you."

He was up instantly, pulling on the scrubs Miranda held out as the waiting room door shut behind him. The hallway passed by in a blur until he reached the door of Shepard's private room. He felt a wave of biotic energy through the door, and he entered cautiously, on alert for loose furniture.

The doctors were on the far side of the bed, each with one eye on the machines. The other eyes were on Shepard herself, her face locked in a grimace and her body awash in azure light. Even with her shifting biotics, he could see the sweat rolling off her skin.

And then his wife opened her eyes, looking right at him. She stretched out a shaking hand. "Kaidan."

He grasped her hand in his own, pushing as close as the hospital bed's rail would allow. "I'm here. I'm sorry."

"I should say that," she said, gasping as a contraction ripped through her. There was almost no pause between them, now. "I've never let pain turn me into a bitch before."

"You're having a baby," Kaidan replied, letting her crush his hand in hers. "That's as good an excuse as any."

"_We're_ having a baby." Shepard said, then groaned. She squeezed Kaidan's hand even tighter, and he winced.

Mordin leaned over the bed. "Not long now," he said. "Should start crowning." He blinked at Kaidan. "Human birth. Fascinating."

Miranda was already positioned at the business end, one hand on Shepard's ankle. She leaned around the sheet and said, "Shepard, I need you to push again. Ready? Now."

Kaidan felt like his hand was going numb, but he did not pull away. Shepard sat up, her hair hanging in strands around her face. Then she bore down, her teeth clenched like the last time he'd seen her take a bullet. After a moment she released, panting.

When Kaidan glanced up he caught the eye of Doctor Chakwas, who shook her head and smiled.

"She wouldn't push without you here," she said. "Caused a bit of a panic."

"What?" He looked back at Shepard, who was bracing herself again, getting as upright as possible. "Why?"

Shepard looked at their linked hands, then at him. "Because I need you. Because I don't want to do this alone. So stay. Please."

His hand was turning white from the pressure. But he'd be damned if he let go now. He put his other hand, the one with his wedding ring, over hers.

"I'm right here," he said. "And I'm not leaving. Never again, Shepard."

And then everything dissolved into chaos. The doctors issued orders at each other, and at the Alenkos, but Shepard ignored them all. Her biotic flares turned into a pulse, the frequency mounting higher and higher until Miranda shouted, "I see the head!" And then Shepard cried out as Kaidan felt a strong force run through her body, one final push.

There was a heartbeat of silence.

And then, a cry.

Miranda held him up, a red, wrinkled, wailing thing, and Kaidan saw the heartbreak on her face as she gave him to Shepard.

"You have a son."

He was still covered in blood and other fluids Kaidan wouldn't care to name. Though the room was dimly lit, his eyes were squinted shut against the light. The tuft of dark hair stuck out at all angles, slick and wet. Shepard could not stop crying as she held him.

It was the most beautiful thing Kaidan had ever seen.

They pulled close, oblivious as Mordin talked. "Fourth of November, 9:54 pm, Earth Standard Time. Will go tell the others. Call if you need me."

He went out. A moment later, the waiting room erupted with cheers. Outside the hospital, reporters began talking into cameras.

But inside that small room, Asher Jeffrey Alenko sighed and fell asleep.


	7. Parenthood

_This was actually the first chapter of L & M that I wrote. It is still by far my favorite. This was inspired by my Adventures In Babysitting, and the movie Notting Hill, for some reason._

_

* * *

_

_You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any. _  
_-Bill Cosby_

_Here we have a baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs. _  
_-Eugene Field_

The baby would not stop crying, and Kaidan Alenko didn't know what to do.

He'd arrived home after a long trip and a quick run to the store for yet another bag of diapers, and Jane Shepard-Alenko was standing in the entry hall, holding the baby in front of her body as though he were contaminated.

"Kaidan," she'd said, her voice the epitome of calm, "you know that I love our son more than life itself. But I haven't had a shower in a week, and if I cannot get one hour to myself then I am going to scream."

And of course Kaidan had taken the baby.

Normally, the Alenkos (and how he _loved_ thinking of the two of them like that) were a tag team. Between the two of them, they usually managed to get just enough rest not to collapse from exhaustion.

Really, it was a testament to Shepard's skill that she had managed alone for a week. There had been an award ceremony on some distant planet(the two of them had enough medals to fill every room in the house), they didn't want the baby anywhere near the media feeding frenzy, and Shepard loathed such events slightly more than Kaidan did. Ergo, he was the one to leave for a week and sit through days of pomp and circumstance. When he had come home, it was very clear just how far at the end of her rope Shepard was. Kaidan was determined to make it up to her.

Of course, his wife had only been out of the room for ten minutes before the baby started crying.

"Really, Ash?" He muttered. "Really? Come on buddy, settle down. _Please_ settle down."

Asher Alenko, who everyone said was the spitting image of his father, only screamed louder.

Right. Okay. He could handle this. Treat it like any mission when negotiating with hostiles. Ease the tension. Find the problem. Fix the problem. Right.

With that in mind, Kaidan pulled out his favorite trick: the Baby Dip.

Taking care not to move too fast or too jerkily, Kaidan swooped his son down, then back up again. Ash blinked. His father did it again, grinning like an idiot so his son would be amused. Ash cried again, but this time it was a squeal of delight.

Find the problem.

According to Shepard's feeding schedule (A misnomer if there ever was one; the schedule had been drawn up according to Asher's whims and not Shepard's.), dinner #3 wasn't due for another hour. Kaidan did an experimental sniff, then stuck a finger in his son's diaper.

Oh yeah. Problem found.

The real issue with two biotics having a baby was that the baby itself was practically guaranteed to be a biotic, too. (About the time Shepard had become pregnant, the first studies were coming out that said, in very big print, that the gene that determined biotic potential was dominant. Cue lots of grants for biotics who decided to have children. Cue ecstatic Alenkos, who could take the grant money plus their extensive savings and finally retire to raise their family.) But a biotic baby had a high metabolism, just like his parents. He had to be fed often. And what goes in...

...let's just say that the diaper industry was doing _very_ well.

Two diaper changes later (for some reason, Ash seemed to think that having a clean diaper meant that he should _make it dirty again_), Kaidan was doing the Baby Dip again. It must have been his son's delighted giggles-which had been proven to make both of his parents act like total fools-that prompted Kaidan to say what he did next.

"Whoops-a-daisy!" He said, swooping Ash again. He made his voice go higher pitched, squeaking, "_Whoops-_a-daisy!"

There was a snort from behind him. Kaidan froze. It couldn't be. Oh, he was never going to live this down...

He turned to face his wife, who was dripping wet and wearing nothing but a very tiny towel. She had her arms folded across her chest, pushing her breasts upward. Kaidan swallowed and pulled Ash into a kangaroo hold against his chest.

"Whatever you heard me say, I didn't say it," he stammered.  
"I mean, that's something a five-year-old girl with a pink dress would say, not-"

Shepard grinned. "I am so hot for you right now."

Kaidan swallowed again. Shortly thereafter, Ash was put to bed early.

God bless those post-partum hormones.


	8. Pictures

_As a pure paragon who's never punched al-Jhilani, this chapter was oh-so-satisfying to write. Because if there's anything that could make Paragon Shep knock that woman out, it's this._

* * *

_"Now I feel I have an unspoken deal with the paparazzi: "I won't do anything publicly interesting if you agree not to follow me." _  
_-Matt Damon_

_"That's what moms are like - if you mess with their babies, they're gonna bite you back." -Avatar The Last Airbender_

_"And if you ever endanger my son again, I'll have to cut out one of your kidneys and force feed it to you." _

_-Phobia, Gastro Phobia_

"This is a bad idea," Kaidan said. He swung Shepard's black N7 duffel bag over his shoulder. Once it had held armors, guns, and clips. Now it was regularly stuffed with diapers, clothes, formula, wipes, bottles, powder, pacifiers, and toys.

Shepard picked up their month-old son, cradling Asher in her arms. "We wanted a portrait done anyway, and the press is going rabid." She scowled. "I don't like it either, but maybe if we throw them a bone they'll back off for a bit."

They both looked down at baby Ash. "Uncle" Joker had sent them a baby-sized replica of Shepard's N7 armor, with soft padding instead of hard plates. With Asher's round cheeks, shock of black hair, and wide brown eyes, the overall affect was adorable. Shepard ran her thumb over her son's silky hair.

"Won't take more than an hour," she murmured.

And with that the Alenkos stepped out of their front door into a barrage of cameras and shouted questions. The barriers that C-Sec had erected kept back most of the mob, but several officers were still hanging around for crowd control. Kaidan led the way, shoving back anyone that got too close and constantly glancing back at his son. For her part, Shepard kept her arms tight around Asher, smiling down at him so he wouldn't get upset.

They made their way down the street to a holo studio. Shepard had wanted a real family portrait. When the press had gotten wind of it, the Alenkos had grudgingly decided to hold a small press conference after their appointment.

"Alenko, family of three?" The secretary of Hollywood Holos looked up at them, her plastered smile faltering when she saw both parents in Onyx hardsuits. "Ah...this way."

Shepard grinning, gave Kaidan a quick pat on the butt. "Thank the Maker for Onyx armor," she said.

The look her husband shot her promised swift and sexy retribution. Later.

For now though, they went through a variety of portrait positions. A few were traditional styles-Shepard sitting with Asher and Kaidan standing behind them-and a few of the more creative ones that had been requested by various parties. The favorite ended up being the one where each of them had held up a pistol, while their other arms supported Asher between them.

"I want about five hundred of them in wallet size," Shepard said as they left. "And about a hundred more in each size bigger than that. I'm going to mail it to everyone from the _Normandy_-"

"Commanders? Khalisah Al-Jilani. Tell us about your new baby. I understand it's a boy?"

Kaidan rolled his eyes while Shepard's narrowed. "I believe we said we would be speaking to Ms. Wong before answering any other questions."

"The public has a right to know, Commander," the reporter said, ignoring Shepard's comment. "Any details you care to share about your son?"

Emily Wong shoved past her, datapad at the ready. "Commander Alenko, Commander Shepard-Alenko, congratulations! Your baby is absolutely adorable. What's his name?"

It was Ms. Al-Jilani's turn to be ignored now. "Thank you," Kaidan replied. "This is our son, Asher Jeffrey Alenko."

For the next few moments they answered questions about the birth (it was a quick labor and delivery), what time he was born (almost ten o'clock at night on November the fourth), if he was fussy (no), and if there would be any brothers or sisters later on (no comment). When the other reporters were given their chance at last, both sides were impatient and irritated.

"Now Commander," Jilani began, directing her question to Shepard, "Was it a planned pregnancy or an accident?"

That made Shepard's spine stiffen. Kaidan put a hand on her shoulder. "Asher is not an accident," she said, practically spitting the words. "When we found out I was pregnant, we were thrilled."

"So it wasn't planned? Don't you think that's an irresponsible stance to take, Commander?"

As a whole, the press had several words they used to describe Commander Shepard-Alenko. Diplomatic. Professional. Unflappable. She conducted every interview with aplomb and made time in her schedule for the reporters she liked. But now? She was seriously pissed off.

"We're done here," she said, moving to walk through the crowd. Kaidan positioned himself ahead of her. "Sorry, but we'll have to schedule one-on-one interviews later."

Jilani fumed. "Commander-," She sputtered, reaching for Shepard's arm.

What happened next was a congruence of several events that were later pieced together from eyewitness accounts and security vids.

As the reporter reached, Asher realized that he was hungry. He squirmed, letting out a small cry. Shepard instantly froze and looked down at her son. Ms. Jilani, expecting the Commander to still be moving, overreached and knocked her hand against the baby's head.

Shepard grabbed her hand and twisted it. Her face was inches away from the reporter's. Her eyes blazed. "Get. Your hands. Off _my __**son**_."

As she released her, a blow of biotic energy blew Ms. Jilani against the wall. Shepard could see Kaidan outlined in indigo light, his expression thunderous.

Without another word, the Alenkos left. The crowd parted before them.

"Okay," Shepard said. "You were right. This was a bad idea."

"It's not your fault." He put his arm around her shoulder as they walked. "But I think you were right about moving to a colony world. We might be able to escape the mobs there."

"Worth a shot." Asher began to cry again, this time in full force. "But first we need to get this guy fed."


	9. Breakfast

_Have you ever tried to make a toddler eat something when they don't want to eat? Or even an eight-year-old, for that matter? It's not pretty._

_Remember, all's fair in love, war, and getting your kid to eat._

* * *

It was 7 a.m., and Commander Shepard was negotiating with hostiles.

"Ash, it's just a banana. You _like_ bananas, remember?" She said, trying to sound reasonable and mature. Ash shoved the fruit off of his highchair, the pieces landing with a _plop_ on the table. She would have to clean that up later.

"Please, just eat the banana. Or the Cheery-Oats. Or even the applesauce. I beg of you, eat _something_!"

Her toddler screwed up his face, letting it turn beet-red before he shouted, "No!"

Shepard let her head thunk onto the table. Why was she doing this again?

Because Asher had to eat. Not just for her sake, but because he was a biotic and ran around like the Energizer bunny all day long. With his metabolism, not eating would mean a trip to the doctor very, very soon.

But why was she doing this whole parenting thing, again?

Her husband chose this moment to pop his head out of the kitchen. "French toast okay? Or do you want eggs? Shepard? ...what's wrong?"

"He won't eat." She said it like a dire prophecy of imminent doom. When she lifted her head off of the table, there was a Cheery-Oat stuck to her forehead.

Kaidan disappeared back into the kitchen for a moment, then emerged holding a mug of hot coffee. Shepard's libido noted that he was only wearing sweatpants, leaving his glorious chest bare. And then, glorious man that he was, he put the coffee in front of her and sat in the chair on her left.

"Now," he said, "tell me what else has got you worked up."

Shepard sighed as she sipped at the coffee; he was truly devious. "Moving to the colony," she said. "With all of the human colonies we've saved before, it feels like we'll be sitting ducks out there. And then I think of all the ones I couldn't save, like New Canton, and Freedom's Progress, and the feeling gets worse. Are we doing the right thing, moving out there?"

Kaidan put his elbows on the table, folding his hands under his chin.

"Honestly," he said, "I don't know. But we can't let Ash go to preschool surrounded by reporters. And if anyone attacks the colony while we're living there...well, I'd like to see them try."

The Cheery-Oat fell off of Shepard's forehead. She grinned. "I could use the Cain."

"You always use the Cain," Kaidan said. He shook his head, trying not to laugh. "Can't you mix it up a little? What about the Claymore?"

Asher screeched and banged his hands on the highchair. "Nana! Nana nana _nana_!"

Shepard let her head fall to the table again. "Right. Help?"

Kaidan stood up, flexing his interlaced fingers in front of him with an audible _crack_. "Watch and learn. This is a closely-guarded secret of the Alenko family."

He sliced up another banana, poured out more Cheery-Oats, and put it all in front of Asher. Then, very gently, he held his son's hands in his own.

"Listen, Ash." He said. "This is Mommy's breakfast. Do not eat it, do you understand? Do not eat this food."

Then he let go and went back into the kitchen, pulling Shepard along with him. The second they were out of the room, Shepard could hear her son crunching on the cereal.

She pulled Kaidan close, her hands clasped behind his neck. "Just for that, I'm going to give you a kiss. And later, when Ash goes down for his nap, I'll give you something else."

Kaidan grinned, his fingers running through her hair as he leaned in close. Her breath caught...

All things considered, it was a very satisfying resolution to events.


	10. Neighborly

The colony of Storie was not very big yet, the population numbering only three hundred forty-seven souls. When the monthly shuttle arrived one day to drop off several plasticeel crates of dried food and tools, several more boxes and bags of luggage, and a small family, the population rose to three hundred fifty.

They moved to a house that had been built near the edge of the colony, far enough away to have privacy, but close enough to hear their neighbors call.

When her nearest neighbor came the next day, bearing gelatin and pie, the mother answered the door carrying a shotgun.

"Hi!" She said, gun in one hand and oil cloth in the other. "Are you the neighbors?"

Mrs. Engan trembled, the gelatin mold she'd made jiggling. "H-hello. Yes, we're the n-n-neighbors. Is th-that a shotgun?"

The woman blinked. "Ma'am, this is not a shotgun. This is the M-300 Claymore, extremely rare and rated for use only be krogan."

"But if only krogan can use it, why do you have one?" Mrs. Engan asked. She felt that she wasn't going to like the answer, and knew that she should've taken her heart pills earlier.

"Funny story actually," the woman replied, "I ended up dying and getting resurrected with cutting-edge, mostly illegal technology, and what with all the cybernetics and bone weaves and muscle weaves and skin weaves and, well, a lot of weaves, I'm a bit more krogan than woman. But don't tell my husband that. Ma'am? Are you okay?"

When Mrs. Engan came to, the woman was bent over her, as well as a man that she assumed was the woman's husband. Said man was shining a pen light into her eyes.

"...all I'm saying is, you could have made some small talk before you introduced her to the Claymore."

"Kaidan, I don't do small talk. Do you really not know that by now?"

"Maybe I should be the one to talk to new neighbors. Hey, she's coming around. Ma'am?"

The penlight clicked off. The man's eyes were a deep brown, and he had dark, curling hair and olive skin. Mrs. Engan was not afraid to admit that if she were about forty years younger, she would have asked for CPR. As it was, she was much older and wiser and did not want to irritate the woman with the shotgun.

"Hi," the woman said. "Sorry about making you pass out. This is my husband, Kaidan Alenko. You can call me Shepard. We're your new neighbors!"

Mrs. Engan blinked. "Alenko and...Shepard? As in THE Alenko and Shepard? The Spectres?"

"Well, yes."

At which point Mrs. Engan promptly passed out again.

Kaidan shook his head. "Yeah...better let me talk first to the neighbors."


End file.
